Tuesday, 26 February 2013


Beautiful dreamer, what do you dream?

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Iain Dunky Shittington Smith, again

It seems like it never ends with Iain Duncan Smith. It was reported yesterday that the House of Commons public accounts committee has found him not fit for purpose and recommended 40 years in the gulag by way of remedy.

And here's Lawd Dunkington having a lovely conversation with James O'Brien on LBC a couple of days ago.

And lastly (for now), please enjoy this short clip from Another Angry Voice in which Dunks, a notorious consumer of £39 taxpayer-funded breakfasts maintains: "She was paid [£71 a week to stack shelves for a huge, grievous, profiteering multi-million pound company and give up the voluntary work, relevant to her degree, that she had been doing for a local museum after being lied to and cajoled by the jobcentre] by the taxpayer to do this". What a dirty rotter.

Friday, 22 February 2013

Targeted advertising

Not completely sure but Facebook's targeted advertising algorithms might be a load of auld tosh.

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Ford Transit Gloria Gaynor

The next time somebody goes in – those smart people who say there's something wrong with this – they go into their supermarket, ask themselves this simple question, when they can't find the food they want on the shelves, who is more important – them, the geologist, or the person who stacked the shelves?
Iain Duncan Smith

Turns out we may not survive after all.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

New pome

I Think I Shall Never See A Pome As Lovely As A Pound Of Rotting Horsemeat 



Monday, 18 February 2013

Free Pussy Riot! Especially the pretty one!

I should probably like to add that I am saying this as a supporter of anarcha-feminism and not some depraved wolf-whistling pig.

There's a view among the Left that the Pussy Riot campaign is not worth supporting, that the women of Pussy Riot would be better off being re-educated in a Marxist-Leninist-Stalinist correction centre. Partly for some faux-naïve reason they choose to see Vladimir Putain as some kind of socialist rather than a god-bothering mafiosi. On this front I am confident that one day soon the once-mighty parliamentary-road-to-socialism and newsagent-focused Communist Party of Britain will begin to update their anachronistic view of the former Soviet Union.

Partly the opposition is also to do with the fact that filth like Paul McCartney and Madonna have been vocal in their support for Pussy Riot and yet strangely silent about many other human rights abuses much closer to home. And partly there's an air of sniffiness about the fact that this involves hipsters and young women. That's the part I want to tap into today. If we can get enough support (from conventional anti-imperialist sources but also from that loud-mouthed wanker Bono and all they other shitbags) for the pretty one, the fit one, the cute one, and it follows that she gets out then we can use this as leverage to persuade the Russian state to consider releasing the less attractive members of Pussy Riot by clearly demonstrating that the same rules should apply. A kind of two-stage theory if you like.

Free Pussy Riot! Especially the pretty one!

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Auld skool hip hop

I was working with a lot of rap groups back then in the late '80s / early '90s. It was an amazing time. Yeah, I was lucky enough to work with and hang out with some of the best, Tribe Called Quest, Jungle Brothers, Public Enemy, Beastie Boys, Boogie Down Productions / KRS-ONE to name a few. Tons of hip hop from 1979 thru the early '90s, then I kind of lost interest in most of the rap records that came out after that.

Friday, 15 February 2013

Iain Dunky Smith

Iain Duncan Smith has been Secretary of State for Euthanasia since 2010 but has anybody else noticed how bad-tempered he's been just lately? It was only a couple of months ago that he got all in a tizz on Question Time after Owen Jones attempted to put some statistics to him that concerned the number of deaths of sick or disabled people following ATOS assessments that had ruled them fit for work. We could talk a bit about all the ATOS scandals* or we could come back to them another time because he went and lost his frothy rag in public again a couple of days ago following the Court of Appeal ruling that found against government plans for workfare

How did it come to be that this dreadful, inadequate, vile piece of shit managed to acquire so much responsibility for misery and multi-death?


On 13 September 2001 Iain Duncan Shit won the Conservative Party leadership election after William Hague's resignation. He had initially been seen as an outsider candidate, but his candidacy was bolstered when Margaret Thatcher publicly announced her support.

In 2002, Michael Crick on the TV programme Newsnight caused some embarrassment when probing Duncan Smith's curriculum vitae, which had been in circulation in the authoritative annual Dod's Parliamentary Companion for the previous ten years. The CV claimed that he had attended the University of Perugia when he had in fact attended the Università per Stranieri, which did not grant any degrees at that time, and a claim that he had attended the prestigious-sounding Dunchurch College of Management turned out to refer to some weekend courses at GEC Marconi's staff college.

Duncan Smith proved not to be a particularly effective public speaker during Prime Minister's Questions. His troubles with a "frog in his throat" prompted Private Eye to refer to him as "Iain Duncan Cough". There were continued rumours of discontent among his backbenchers, not dampened by his warning to his party in November 2002: "My message is simple and stark, unite or die". The 2002 Conservative Party conference saw an attempt to turn his lack of charisma into a positive attribute, with his much-quoted, much-derided line "do not underestimate the determination of a quiet man". The next year, Duncan Smith's conference speech abandoned this technique in favour of an aggressive hard-man approach that few found convincing.

Iain Duncan Smith stated in December 2002 that he intended to be party leader for a "very long time to come". This did little to quell the speculation in Westminster regarding his future. On 21 February 2003, The Independent newspaper published a story saying that a number of MPs were attempting to start the process of petitioning for a vote of no confidence in Duncan Smith. These worries came to a head in October 2003. Michael Crick revealed that he had compiled embarrassing evidence, this time of dubious salary claims Duncan Smith made on behalf of his wife that were paid out of the public purse from September 2001 to December 2002. The ensuing scandal, known as Betsygate weakened his already tenuous position.

Betsygate concerned the level of pay that his wife enjoyed as her husband's diary secretary. In May 2002 Michael Crick had initiated an investigation on the pay received by Betsy, and asserted that the pay was not commensurate with the duties she performed during the period from September 2001 to December 2002. Rikki Radford, Duncan Smith's constituency agent since 2002, denied that Betsy had fulfilled a professional role for her husband since he became party leader, saying: "I know for sure she doesn't... The bottom line is that she's his wife and she gets on with looking after the kids." Furthermore, only one of 18 groups in Duncan Smith's constituency visited by him in 2002 recalled any contact with Mrs Duncan Smith. A party official in the constituency and six Tory MPs also told the journalists that they saw no evidence of Mrs Duncan Smith working for her husband during the 15-month period in question. Crick's report was expected to go out on the Thursday before the Conservative Party conference but it was vetoed at the last minute by BBC executives.

Under leadership vote of confidence rules, 25 Conservative MPs had to write to the Chairman of the 1922 Committee demanding the vote. On 26 October, Duncan Smith made an appearance on television daring his opponents to show their hand by the evening of 29 October or to withdraw their challenge. He also stated that he would not step down if a vote was called. Duncan Smith's demand that 25 MPs write to the chairman by 29 October had no bearing on party regulations. Had the votes not been delivered until later, the vote of no confidence would still have gone ahead. Nevertheless, by 28 October 25 Conservative MPs had indeed signed on to demand a vote. Duncan Smith lost by 90 votes to 75 and stepped down eight days later when the unopposed Michael Howard was confirmed as his successor. Duncan Smith followed William Hague as only the second Conservative Party leader since Austen Chamberlain not to have become Prime Minister and was the first since Neville Chamberlain not to have led the party in a general election.

On 6 November 2003, Iain Duncan Smith released his novel The Devil's Tune. The book received heavily critical reviews such as "Really, it's terrible... Terrible, terrible, terrible" by Sam Leith in the Daily Telegraph. The book was never published in paperback.

He married Elizabeth "Betsy" Fremantle, daughter of the 5th Baron Cottesloe, in 1982. The couple have four children and live in a rented house on her father's estate in Buckinghamshire.

What a guy.

Source: Wikipedia


*Further reading

Scottish Daily Record
ATOS benefits bullies killed my sick dad, says devasted Kieran, 13

New Statesman
How many more disabled people will die terrified that their benefits will be taken away?

Benefit Scrounging Scum
Karen's Story – RIP Karen Sherlock, Disability Rights Campaigner – Died June 8th, 2012

Diary of a Benefit Scrounger
A site to share information on welfare cuts, illness, disability and general, current, political thought

The People's Review of the Work Capabilty Assessment
The experiences of more than 70 claimants who have been wrongly assessed, humiliated, badly treated and forced to go to tribunal to secure the benefits to which they are legally entitled


“It is not enough for Government to say that the genuine claimant has nothing to fear. In too many cases, genuine claimants are not scoring any points in their initial assessment. There is something fundamentally wrong with the system and the contract that ATOS is delivering. When the British Medical Association votes at its conference to say that the work capability assessment is not fit for purpose there is something wrong with the system. When GPs are reporting an increased workload, not just as a result of providing reports but as a result of treating patients whose condition has worsened as a result of their WCA experience, there is something wrong with the system.

When my constituent, who has lost his job because he has motor neurone disease, scores zero on his WCA and is found fully fit for work, there is something wrong with the system. When that same constituent appears in front of a tribunal and in less than five minutes is awarded 15 points, there is something wrong with the system. When people with rapidly progressive illnesses are not automatically put in the support group, there is something wrong with the system. When some people would rather do without the money to which they are absolutely entitled rather than submit to the stress of a WCA, there is something wrong with the system. When someone with a severe illness has to fight for a year through an appeal to get the correct benefit, only to be called in almost immediately for another assessment, there is something wrong with the system. When the recall and assessment happen the following year, and the following year, there is something wrong with the system. When people feel so persecuted, there is something wrong with the system. To top it all, they lose their contributory ESA after only a year if they are in the WRAG group.

When up to 40% of appeals are successful and there is no penalty for the company carrying out the assessments, there is something wrong with the contract. When so many appeals result in an award of ESA support group status when the original assessment was no points, there is something wrong with the contract. When there is no penalty for a high percentage of wrong decisions, there is something wrong with the contract. When there is no incentive for assessors to get the assessment correct first time, there is something wrong with the contract. It is time for the Government to act, because there is something fundamentally wrong with the whole system.”

— Dame Anne Begg MP, Chair, Work & Pensions Committee, 4 September 2012

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Silver shoes update

It's  day and on  day I always like to think about the important things. To wit: there's been some news on my silver shoes insofar as there is now an online petition where you can express your love, support and solidarity. At the time of going to press we are 25% of the way towards acheiving our goals.

Please consider spending a moment of your time to click through and join the movement of caring people who care. Also this may turn out to be one of those few campaigns that we have an outside chance of winning. Together we can do it! You can find the petition here. Good luck and lots of L O V E x x x

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Hi ho Silver!

It was more than 25 years ago but the memory comes flooding back in all its horror. It was deepest night outside a not-very-well-attended party given by my school friend PD. I was caught between GD and the paddock gate. We were smoking marijuana cigarettes and sipping on booze from the supermarket. In truth G resembled her brother and, if I told you what P resembled, well you would probably never eat horse meat again. I don't remember what we were talking about, probably The Cure's new record or something like that, but I looked at G and then to the horse in the field, and from horse to girl and girl to horse when I was taken by a frightening thought. And so I bolted back into the haus where I managed to drink sufficiently quickly that I soon passed out. And that's the true story of how I nearly became co-opted by the horse nation.

Monday, 11 February 2013

Naked Lunch

The title means exactly what the words say: Naked Lunch, a frozen moment when everyone sees what is on the end of every fork...

You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative...

The junk merchant doesn't sell his product to the consumer, he sells the consumer to his product. He does not improve and simplify his merchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client...

— William S Burroughs

Sunday, 10 February 2013

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse

I wrote a new pome on Friday night. It's only my second pome in the last ten years. And in fact it more or less wrote itself in a moment of ennui during the very early hours when I couldn't sleep as a result of kicking cigs a week ago and all the usual existential malaise. I'm publishing it here really due to the overwhelming support it's had from a few kind folk who've already seen it and, not least, we poets live for our audience of course.

Here's the pome, in its original form (but with an early spelling mistake corrected):





Stuff people said

England by train
— Angela Nunscunt

Domo Arigâteau (the poets' poet) moved me to tears. Ahead of his time, 
a master of meter
— Gary Lowe

My kinda poem
— Trudi Scrivener

What a great poem!
— Eileen Ryan

Friday, 8 February 2013

I am Domo Suzuki

What have you got in that paper bag? Who is Mr Karlheinz Stockhausen? Introduce me, I am Domo Arigâteau!

Thursday, 7 February 2013


I finally managed to figure out what Pinterest is. Turns out it's nothing to do with Harold Pinter at all. It's where random strangers post your stuff that they found on the internet and then you gather it all together and make an album out of it. Pinterest is awesome, I totally it.

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Some thoughts on the new My Bloody Valentine album

The establishment wants to maintain a controlled chaos which it dignifies as "law and order". If law and order were the real objectives of this country's ruling class, provocative and pointless displays of aggression such as football matches and fascist marches – responsible for the constant waste of millions of police, pounds and property – would not be sacrosanct. 

However, the working class must take their frustration out on someone, and who could possibly be a better target than more vulnerable members of their own social strata? So government approves football, political aggravation and – since the fifties – the youth culture. 

Capitalism – "the godfather of fascism" – lives to increase multi-million dollar profits. In "rock and roll" the particular interests of the establishment and capitalism fit together as compactly as a joint, finding an affinity that they are unable to achieve in any other business venture... 


Julie Burchill-upon-Sea & Tony Parsons-Nose
The Boy Looked At Johnny, 1978

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Olaf B Dossier

Does anybody have any information about this multiple-use name? There's very little on the unternet and what there is is basically hidden behind a paywall... All correspondence gratefully received.

Friday, 1 February 2013

My silver shoes

I found the shoes I want, the shoes I need. But Yumi won't let me get them. Actually she's been kind of mean about the whole thing, even suggesting that these are my midlife crisis shoes or something. Maybe I should start an online petition to get her to let me get the shoes. How does that work, how do I start an online petition to get my silver shoes?